well hideho everyone- i havent updated my journal for a min so here i am. i cant beleave another year is come and gone. ill have spent 5 years with my bf in feburary and gatlin is turning 4 on saturday-hes almost my height and getting so big! he is the love of my life. anyhu im anxouse about my bf having to go to jail for an indefinate amount of time-i dont want to be apart from him but i know he needs to get better if we have any hope of being together for the next 5 years. all in all i think it will be good for me as well- after spending that amount of time with someone you start to loose track of who you are without said person, i think it will be good for me to just get to know myself once again. i love him with all my heart but i dont love all of his choices-hopefully he will start making some better ones -not just for me and gatlin but for himself as well. i am a endless well of hope and faith. check ya lata

i was driving down the road today and saw a sign proclaiming COMING SOON! MAMMAS PLANTATION RESTURAUNT! is it just me or is this just plain sad? i had to do a double take. anyhu, im in weird mood today. feel utterly hopeless. im 23 years old and i havent accomplished anything meaningfull in my life. i need to get my damn butt into gear and start taking control of my life and where its going. sorry just venting. im going to have the busiest weekend next week. im going to pink floyd next thurday, friday taking my boy to bolt and saturday going to see twilight. im going to walk in that theatre fully expecting it to suck, i hate how movies portray books.its never as good,except for a minor few. any hu catch ya all later

feel like writing about something random. im trying to get through the dark tower series by stephen king, ive tried before but only got through the gunslinger. it just drives me nuts cause i cant get into the series. and also when half of his other novels have refrences to this series it makes me want to read this even more so. just finished insomnia for the 3 time and it ties in to the dark tower so much i really need to read this, so yeah, maybe its like the lord of the rings series- i couldnt get into the hobbit but the other books were great. maybe i need to just skip to the second book.hohum. probably boring everyone reading this but oh well. looking forward to halloween, just finished helping my aunt decorate-shes got the coolest shit ever- she even has a 10 foot guolitine in her front yard. im watching monter quest at the moment and their investigating the chubacabra. neato. i love cryptozoology-anyone eles beleave in those things? loch ness and bigfoot and all that fun stuff. any who ill stop rambaling on and on and on-check ya later

been a while scince ive been on da. things are going pretty good. my little boy will be starting preschool soon-sob, jk- hes gonna look so pimp in his new clothes and backpack. work sucks-latley every little thing seems to be getting to me. i wish we were busy so i just couldnt worry about all the drama. when theres actually work to do i love it because the day just flys by. any hu check ya later

so yeah -been a minuet (cant spell-too early) scince i wrote a journal, lots of stuff has been going on in my life- but hey who dosent have problems right? went to court yesterday with my bf and he didnt have to go to jail so that was a huge weight off my shoulders. we have a long way to go in our personal life yet. he came clean to me about his drug use and im so glad its out in the open finally. i think ive been in denile for awhile-hey that rhymes! i just want to break through all the bullshit weve put each other through and move on. sometimes thats easier said than done. sometimes i wish life was like a game and you could just hit the reset button. if only it was that easy. anyhu- im still breathing so i guess ill stick it out and see how this game ends. take care!